Speed has an inverse relationship with concentration. Driving at 200 Km/Hr, how many people’s faces do you see? What kind of nature do you notice? And what thoughts are you essentially aware of? We are moving faster with time, and this has become the pace of every plane of our existence. We think – react, love – break up, and create – destroy faster than any generation that has come before us. Speed being one of human evolutions proudest achievements, is also among its most deep rooted obstacles.
As a medical student I have always found myself in an existential battle with time. From morning rounds and keeping up with patient’s labs at the hospital, to sticking to the study schedule and keeping the people I love happy at home. My daily life had become a check list never to be completed, and when everyday registered as incomplete in my mind, it never missed the chance to remind me of my incompetency, inadequacy and what it had decided to be my natural pattern to fail. I had believed it and convinced myself that this was the path I chose and that suffering was part of the equation. I would hear the victim inside of me expressing itself in conversations with friends, family and lovers. After hearing the same reaction mirrored in so many lives I realized that I was not special. Being one of the most agreed upon qualities of success, the whole world lives in impossibly rigid schedules with tasks allocated for every moment of the day, setting itself up for failure. On top of that, as if being chastised by upper levels, friends and family isn’t enough, we willfully join our own psychological stoning choosing the biggest boulders to throw at ourselves. If I looked at you and called you FAT, UGLY, STUPID, RIDICULOUS and then SPAT at you how would you react? So then why is it we accept to be spoken to like that by our very own selves?
We have lost our natural ability to look inward because externally there is always something new to see, do, or complete. We are a culture of 1000 frames/second and $10/hour. We have created measures for everything, including that which is immeasurable; our souls. We are born divine, and then decide we are worthless based on scales created by others. At one point I realized the last time I said I love you to the soul in my mirror was almost never. I am the master of my life, this gift I am born to enjoy. I have suffered enough and am finally aware that no one is causing it but me. I will slow down and learn the true meaning of actually taking my time. I will devote every second of it in love for myself, my life and the present moment. I finally see that my universe is a place of love, and I am its reflection. I’m not special. I’m not more aware, informed or more spiritually armed. I am simply declaring the choice to end my suffering and live the life that is my birthright. I will shed the scales and poison of my inner snake and metamorphose into the grace that resides within me, which I have chosen to ignore my whole life. I am of love, I am of peace, I am of abundance. Just like you. I will take that leap of faith for us so we may witness miracles, learn to create our own and channel them through to illuminate the world.